It's officially been two years since it happened. The first September in 17 years that I wasn't going back to school. It's not like two years is an excessively long time, but it feels like it is. Before I began writing this post, I actually had to stop to make sure it really has been only two years and not twenty. You know how when you graduate it feels like the world is kind of over? You don't let yourself think it though. Instead you talk about how life is just beginning but you don't really believe that. What is life going to be like without school? It was the first September I had nothing to plan for, no back to school supplies to buy, there would be no packing up and driving back. It was scary, I was scared. Especially because the plan I did have was wobbly at best.
"So what's next?"
The dreaded post-grad question. Asked by the well meaning people in your life about your future goals, your future aspirations. But unless that question is followed by "I've already got a job lined up and will be getting a starting salary of six figures" or "Back to post-grad education to follow my dream of being a doctor/lawyer/computer genius you end up getting a lot of confused blinks. All I could say was "Uh you know, moving back home so I can start saving for more camera equipment" Like I said, wobbly. It was hardly a plan. More like a mini plan to make up for not having an actual plan. I knew what I wanted. To be a photographer. Unfortunately all it came across as was moving back in with the parents. That's it. I might as well have stamped unemployed loser right across my forehead and been done with it.
It seemed like the only natural choice for me but it was a risk. Not applying to any schools, not researching internships, not making a major next step because I knew in my gut what the next step needed to be. I needed the time to take little steps, to build my business, to give myself the freedom and the opportunity to create the kind of future I wanted even if it meant failing or going slowly. So this September, if any of you are back to school or chasing your own crazy dream or you really do want to be a doctor/lawyer/computer genius, throw your whole heart into it because your dream is worth pursuing. Take risks and follow the path less travelled. No one dictates your life but you.