I’m sure you’ve noticed over the past years the strong momentum of the body positivity movement in the fashion world. Aerie and many other brands proudly showcase strong diversity and more and more plus-size models are breaking free of past restrictions in the fashion world. I’ve been working in the wedding industry for many years. Over that time there have been tremendous changes in all facets of it, but In my eyes, the wedding industry has not kept up quite as well in showcasing and celebrating the diversity of people. And this my friends is a damn shame. There is this idea that your wedding day is the one day you should be the skinniest version of yourself. ‘Sweating for the wedding’ is ubiquitous and the fear of not looking ‘perfect’ in your wedding photos stops people from being able to feel free and be present on such a special day. It turns wedding dress shopping into a self-esteem nightmare and causes anxiety around having your picture taken. All of this robs you of the joy you deserve to have.

Now don’t get me wrong. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to feel beautiful on your wedding day, of wanting to feel healthy and glowing, but we have got to get past this idea that the only way to do that is to be this version of ‘the bride’ we see in magazines and online that fits into a size 4 wedding dress. We do not see enough diversity in wedding publications. A lot of what you see as inspiration on blogs or magazines are styled shoots. Styled shoots are a great way for vendors to be creative and flex their skills but they are not real weddings. They are often models or at least women who fit into or are smaller than the sample size.

Over the years there has been a conscious effort to showcase more real weddings but I still do not see the amount of ‘real’ that I want to. I want to move towards a point where people of all different shapes and sizes are showcased proudly on popular wedding blogs. Where you walk into a bridal show and see images of people from all walks of life with joy on their faces. It is so important to see representation of the diversity we have on this planet and recognize beauty where it actually is and not where society has deemed it is. Love is not reserved only for straight-sized bodies, people with perfect skin and long limbs or flat stomachs.

It is my job as your photographer to help you feel your best on this day. I want you to look at your photos and see a beautiful version of yourself. But I also want you to look at them and see what I see! The photo that you think shows too much chin is my favourite because I love the way your nose crinkles as you laughed at your dad’s speech. I want you to have that memory! What you might see as imperfections I see as the beauty of realness and I hate to see anybody holding back who they are in order to fit into this ‘wedding mold’. This photo of me from my own wedding reminds me of this every time I look at it. The first thing I thought when I saw it was that I didn’t like the way my back looked in it. But then I thought what if I didn’t have this photo? One day when my grandfather is gone this photo is going to increase infinitely in importance and I am not going to give any f***s about my back.

How do we get over this crippling idea of perfection? By seeing this sterile view of what a wedding is scrubbed from mainstream culture. More blogs that showcase happiness over perfection. More bridal shops that cater to different sizes. More real brides of all sizes on the COVER of magazines. The more we see the wedding industry embrace this universal truth, the more we can shake off the pressure of perfection and the more you will see what others see in you.